i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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