Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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