well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
