Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
