Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
