Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
