im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
