im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
