Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize