My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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