I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
