Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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