I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
