I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
