So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
