where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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