maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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