so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize