I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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