theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
