He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
