Don't you send me to vm
What did we do last night that was yellow?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
