i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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