I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
