i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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