he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
