Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
