I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
