i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
