And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
