weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we're making bets on your personal life
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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