I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
