Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
