Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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