speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
In America we eat man semen.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
