called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
