May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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