i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
