were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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