She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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