Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
