my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Need sex. Gaining weight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
