Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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