actually, I'm a sock model
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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