Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
