dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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