honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you would pick up someone in the library
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
