I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
