I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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