So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
