Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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