Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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