I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
