sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
