Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Holy sore nipples Batman
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
