I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
