Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
