a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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